I’ll never forget that day.
The auditorium was full and the speaker had called us all forward for prayer. Probably no one else thought it was anything spectacular, but for me – well, it changed my life.
Six months before I had broken up with my boyfriend with whom I had been for about a year. That year was a year of full-blown rebellion. I broke so many rules at the Bible school I attended that its any wonder they didn’t kick me out – not to mention how many personal convictions I had violated.
I knew that I was living in sin, but I couldn’t seem to come to a place of repentance, because I knew full well that the next day I’d go out and do the same thing again.
I went home for the summer holidays, and while I was under my parents’ roof, where I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit day in and day out, I couldn’t help but admit that I was in a dangerous place spiritually.
Before me were two paths and I knew the choice would be final for me. I could follow God’s voice or I could continue going in the direction I was going – which would lead to utter destruction.
One thing was clear – I couldn’t walk the fence any longer. I could no longer play this game with God.
Praise the Lord – I made the correct choice.
I returned to school in the fall, and the first day while we were worshiping God touched me so powerfully that I began to shake all over. I shook and wept uncontrollably for at least a half hour. I had never experienced anything like this before, and I told my friend later that God had to just shake all that sin out of me.
Yet, I continued to feel such deep guilt. I constantly remembered my sin. I repented a thousand times and carried around such deep sorrow because I knew my testimony was ruined – all my friends had witnessed my failure.
Yet here I stood at the front of the auditorium for prayer. Around me were two thousand students and to them this day was like any other. For me, it was a day I’d never forget.
My friend turned to me and began to pray for me. Afterward, she looked me in the eye and said, “Its not over. God isn’t done with you yet. What He has started, He will finish. He still wants to use you, regardless of your past.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!
God still wanted to use ME? The one who had taken advantage of His grace? I could still be used by God?
How could this be true?
I began to weep, but this time it wasn’t because I felt sorrow. No, now I wept because I had finally experienced something I had read about a hundred times before…
Women Living Well