I will never forget the first time the Lord made His way into my bedroom a couple years ago. My husband Phil and I had just finished enjoying each other and I was resting on his chest. I certainly wasn’t thinking about Jesus. I was having more of a “basking in the afterglow” and “Wow, I really love this dude” kind of moment.
Imagine my surprise when I heard the following words: “You know how loved you feel right at this moment? I love you way more than that!”
I didn’t hear these words audibly, but I heard them so clearly in my spirit. My eyes filled with tears and I started to weep because I knew without a doubt that was the Lord speaking to me. It wasn’t just the words He said, but the way He said it. It was so full of love and and He emphasized the word “way” so it sounded more like “waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than that!”
I had to explain to Phil why I was crying. Of course he made a joke about how Jesus “one-upped” him in the bedroom, but it was a very special and revelatory moment. It was not only a wonderful reminder of how deeply loved I was, but the fact that the Lover of My Soul chose that very moment to speak to me revealed something important that my husband and I had not considered in over a decade of marriage — the tangible presence of God resides in our bedroom and He doesn’t disappear simply because we’re having sex. He’s present and desires to commune at a time when we typically wouldn’t even be thinking of Him.
This was the beginning of the fun journey of bedroom discovery that lied ahead of us; a journey that ultimately turned those passionate heat of the moment cries of “Oh my God” (you know what I’m talking about!) to a heartfelt reverence and worship of “Oh….my God!”
Can you truly “make love” without God when He IS love?
Part of what we learned is that our loving Father cares about every detail that concerns us and desires to be involved in every area of our marriage, including between the sheets. If you think about it, if the Word of God instructs us not to have sex before marriage, it means that He is concerned about sex. God is intentional. He isn’t going to stop caring about your physical intimacy now that you’re within the covenant of marriage….and thankfully He didn’t leave us alone to figure out how to do this marriage thing all by ourselves.
That’s right…the very presence of God is with you and your spouse at all times and you have the Holy Spirit within you, guiding you, teaching you, comforting you, and leading you from moment to moment in your marriage…..if you allow Him to do so.
Why does the Lord care about being involved in every aspect of your marriage, both inside and outside of your bedroom? Because He loves you without measure. Everything God has ever done, everything He is currently doing, and all that He has yet to do is motivated by His amazing love for you. Absolutely nothing can separate you from the love of your Savior Jesus Christ. He died for you, was raised to life, and is now sitting at the right hand of the Father, pleading on your behalf. Because of that love, you can (and should) trust and lean on Him when it comes to your bedroom activities.
Sex as Worship?
Sex is a spiritual matter, greater than simply a procreation or recreational matter. Our awesome Creator….well, He created it. He ought to be acknowledged, praised, and glorified through your physical intimacy. That physical expression of love should be offered as worship to the Lord.
This may sound a little strange or perhaps you’re intrigued. If you’re wondering how exactly to invite the Lord into this area of your marriage, it’s actually pretty simple.
Recognize God and praise Him – This is a conscious effort and a matter of your heart. Psalm 100:4 encourages us to enter His gates with thanksgiving in our hearts and to enter His courts with praise. Make having a grateful heart part of your foreplay. As a wife, you may say something (in your mind/heart not aloud) like “Lord, I thank you for this awesome man of God you’ve placed in my life. I love how he sings to me and so grateful that he washed those dishes earlier today…and he’s FINE too? Lord, you have just outdone yourself!” I’m not giving you a script. The idea is to give thought to and give thanks to God for those things you appreciate about your spouse. As you praise, you’ve just entered the gates of the Kingdom of God.
Say a prayer together with your husband – Share your heart with each other and with the Lord through prayer the next time that you’re praying together as a couple (and if you’re not already praying together, I recommend it!). Invite the Lord to have His way in you and in your bedroom. Let Him know that you want to know more of His goodness and see more of His glory in your marriage. Let Him know that you desire more of His presence.
Just The Beginning….
Earlier I mentioned that Lord took my husband and I on a journey of “bedroom discovery.” The journey lasted for several months and culminated in a book full of lessons that has ignited the bedrooms of hundreds of married couples. In fact, some of what you read here is from the book (which you can learn more about here).
There are a variety of benefits to inviting the Lord into your sexual intimacy with your marriage and the invitation is just the beginning. There is an overflow created in your bedroom that will extend outside of your bedroom and have an impact in every area of your marriage and family life. When you align with Him in the bedroom, the results will be far-reaching and you will experience more than you can ask for or even think to ask for within your marriage.
- Shae Bynes is a passionate storyteller, best-selling author, and engaging teacher whose life was completely changed by encountering God. She enjoys the response she receives when she tells people that she is a Firestarter, igniting fires in the marketplace and in the bedrooms around the world. Shae has authored several books on the topics of God-centered and Spirit-led business and marriage and is the Host of The Kingdom Driven Entrepreneur Podcast. Visit ShaeBynes.com to learn more.