It has been an honor to get to know Judith – not only through blogging, but through emailing as well. What a blessing she has been to me – a true Titus 2 woman! Please enjoy this wonderful guest post from Judith Kowles.
My husband will repair the car before it totally breaks down and calls it ‘preventive maintenance.’
Too often we neglect the maintenance in our marriage and allow it to break down for lack of repair. What if we did a little preventive maintenance in marriage that will keep it greased and running smoothly?
Some couples have marriages that run along seemlessly without bumps or ruts in their journey. They are best friends and grow even more intimate as the years go by.
Most of us have to really work at our marriage. The problems faced by most couples are longer than life and getting along is just a dream.
If You Were Honest
Your marriage is messy
You no longer have much in common
You are lonely
You struggle with contentment
You might even entertain thoughts of wanting ‘out’
Preventive Maintenance in Marriage
My marriage isn’t perfect and it certainly hasn’t been a bed of roses. The roses that have been in our bed had long thorns on them that pricked hard into our relationship.
My husband, Tim and I, have stayed married for 35 years without a single regret despite the shortcomings in each other. Yes, I sure have wished he would stop ___________ and he would be more ___________ more of the time.
Fact-of-the-matter is; that the things I wished my husband would change through the years, were not nearly as important as how “I” ought to change and do preventive maintenance in our marriage.
Marriage is 100% – 0%
Marriage sure isn’t 50/50 like most of us thought on our wedding day.
It really is 100% – 0% with the 100% being on MY part and YOURS. Totally.
Marriage isn’t about being a ‘door-mat’ but it is about giving without restraint to the other person.
Have you ever had a friend who always talked about herself without ever asking about you? Yes, that is very self-centered, but if you learn to get beyond minding that you are doing all the giving, you will find:
and sacrificial Christ-likeness.
This will do wonders for your marriage and you are more than likely to one day see a response from your husband like you never dreamed possible.
How To Do Preventive Maintenance
Greet your husband when he comes home from work.
Treat your husband like Esther treated Ahasuerus – honor him like a king!!
Look up into his face when he talks to you.
Accept his touching and fondling. If you don’t, someday you’ll wish you did!!
Leave him notes: under his pillow, in his lunch box, with lipstick on the mirror, in an email, or Facebook message.
Buy him chocolates and place one on his pillow (on the bed made up like a bed and breakfast)
Make his breakfast before he goes to work instead of staying in bed. After all, he is working so hard to provide for you!!
Dress attractively whether you think he notices or not.
Tone your body up by exercising. You don’t have to have that ‘Barbi’ figure you had when you met. Just tone up what you’ve got.
Don’t be so busy with your own independent pursuits that you can’t stop and spend time with your hubby. Yearn to spend time with him.
Be sexy. Yes, I said that!! You don’t need to spend a lot of money to turn his ‘running lights on!!’ But do go to Walmart and buy some sexy new things to wear when he finds the chocolates on his pillow.
Stay the Course
It is very easy to lose sight of where you are going in your marriage as time goes on. Jobs, church responsibilities, and children can do just that. Giving up is never the right thing to do.
Stay the course.
Your man is perfect for you much more than you might think when you are in the middle of issues. God designed him perfectly for you.
Often my husband brought out the worst in me (and not only the best 😉 )
The longer we were married, I began to realize how sinful “I” was instead of pointing my finger at all the shortcomings of my husband.
I saw my sin like never before. I saw how independent I was and how little I submitted to him.
He was exactly what I needed to bring out the sin that was already lying dormant in my heart. God has used my marriage to refine me and especially once I realized that preventive maintenance was desperately needed.
“And he said to the all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” ~Luke 9:23~
Are you doing preventive maintenance in your marriage? What thoughts do you have to add to mine?
Judith lives in the beautiful Pocono Mountains with the most amazing husband and has been married for the past thirty-five fleeting years. She has been blessed with seven wonderful children through birth, adoption, and tubal reversal. When her oldest was five, she quit her job on the night shift and homeschooled for over twenty-five years. God has taken the imperfections of her life and keeps turning them into something that can be used for His glory. She writes in her spare time over at His Unmeasured Graceto inspire and equip women for holy living with joyfilled hearts. She also has a passion for contributing over at Missional Call. You can also find her connecting over at Google +, Facebook, Pinterest, and sometimes on Twitter.
Additional Resources: visit Today’s Marriage Prayer and cover your marriage in prayer!!
- Rosilind, a Pacific Northwest native, is a missionary living in Croatia and married to her hero. Together they live in the country with their 2 active boys where she enjoys fruity candles and a hot cup of herbal tea on a blustery fall evening. She holds an Associates of Practical Theology and is passionate about discipling and encouraging women. Her passion for writing led her to author a number of books. She is the author of A Little R & R where she encourages women to find contentment in what God created them to be. She can also be found at these other places on a regular basis. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google +.